A No-Good, Eff-You-Vie, Sort of Day

It’s nine-thirty on a Friday night. My wild and crazy evenings have progressed from gaming and pizza, to “dear heavens, how do I get this baby to calm down,” to “hey, let’s watch another episode” to “time to study another article.” And because of this, I have told myself that I need to stop at nine-thirty in the evening to work on my words. It’s that mental break that I need, but it’s also necessary to help with consolidation of works and ideas.

And really, today was just a bad day after several good ones. The week started out well, I’ve had several good classes worth of students that seem to be promising. At least, they are FULL… at least 20 students per section. The courses are programmed, I’ve had minimal hiccups with other classes that I run, and I’ve managed to get through my task list for my myriad of roles and responsibilities. I figured that by Friday, I would be able to sit back and work through that task list. So, I got my delicious iced dark roast coffee at Dunkin Donuts (refill size, cream and three equal) and slid into my office with my jeans and polo shirt to slum it for some academic course programming and tweaking, answer some emails, and give my afternoon over to studying for comps while waiting for more students to come by for signatures.

But, three things went wrong. Three things that happened that had me ready to throw my hands in the air and run home for coffee, chocolate, and a conference with my Kleenex. As I am no longer allowed to have anxiety attacks at work (I have told myself this; it’s not a safe place for me to fall apart, so it’s a no-attack zone), I had to compartmentalize the issues and deal with them. But… damn, what a day.

First… I had someone far above me request data in a very passive-aggressive way *after* I had indicated that getting that data would not be possible, given the rest of the responsibilities that I had for the next three weeks. I don’t know if that message was communicated upward when I was asked (and these days, {censored because folks on campus decided to be cute and follow me on Twitter… hey guys, go listen to Invasion of the Pussy Spiders and see if you still want to follow the wild-mannered academic}, I should know better when I comes to academic telephone games) BUT those numbers that I said I could not get because it would involve me pushing off other projects that same upper-level person said “took priority” a few weeks ago were demanded in an email.

Just pulling those numbers and getting them into a format for analysis takes me THREE HOURS. It’s a good thing that Abbie Hilton and Paul Cooley dropped new stuff in their feeds last night/this morning, because their work made that data manipulation-drudgery bearable.

Second… circumstances on the campus with students have caused me to speak with higher ups about the safety of our staff where I work. (Much of this is deleted because I can’t offer details…) Short version, I didn’t feel safe, and because nothing has happened, no action can be taken. I am not satisfied with “no action” because I don’t want the action to happen after a dangerous accident involving my coworkers and a disgruntled student. So, conversations were had. We will see if something happens, but I wasn’t happy that the conversation had to take place after several red flags already happened. I want to feel safe, but I don’t always feel like those high up take those concerns seriously. Sooo… yeah. The VERY sanitized version, mind you.

And finally, I dropped my phone *just* the right way and shattered the screen. I’d dropped that phone way too many times, and this time, it hit the corner just right while I was in the dining hall trying to study and destress over a turkey club wrap and black bean soup. Just…

Fuck. No other expletive. It was the final “fuck you, Miz V” for the day, and I really just wanted to put my head down on the table and cry. Instead, I got frozen yogurt, took a deep breath, and went back to my office to play with more numbers.

And now, I’m home and it’s ten o’clock, and I’ve banged out the necessary words plus some for the day. Why? Because it’s therapeutic and, looking back on everything that happened, it helps me see that things can improve and there are ways to fix things. I’ll have the numbers done on Monday. The head of campus security is going to help us come up with an evacuation plan in case of emergencies so we can keep our staff and students safe. The guy at the Verizon store was wonderful and I’ll relearn this phone.

And I have coffee now while I go back to studying.

Persist. Maintain perspective… which is really what this kind of post is for. Maintaining perspective.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 10th, 2014 at 10:04 pm and is filed under academics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to “A No-Good, Eff-You-Vie, Sort of Day”

  1. Anne Elizabeth Baldwin Says:

    That’s certainly a rough day. I hope it’s the worst for a good, long while. {Sympathetic Smile, HUGS, SQUEEZES}

    (Hugs are just about a standard response when I sympathize. Let me know if you mind – now or at any time in the future – and I’ll back off on them. I’ve been in some very huggy groups online, so I can get… enthusiastic. {lop-sided but Sympathetic Smile})

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

  2. Veronica Says:

    It’s okay. The day did get better, but part of having the blog is using it for venting and sympathy (but not abusing it) so I can take a deep breath and realize that stuff will, eventually, get better. :)

  3. Anne Elizabeth Baldwin Says:

    I’m glad it did get better again. {Smile}

    Yes, venting helps on rough days. So can hugs. {wink, Smile}

    Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

  4. Doc Coleman Says:

    *hugs*

    Sorry to be late to the party. Really hope the security issues have been dealt with by now, or are addressed soon. Sounds like your admins need to re-learn that their first responibility is the health and safety of the crew and passengers, or in this case the Faculty and Students.

    Doc