No worries and no problems

Today is my birthday. I’m not sure how old I look, or how old one is supposed to be these days when she juggles family, education, dayjob, home entrepreneurial stuffs, and geeky preferences. All I know is that I’m still closer to 25 than I am to 50, and far closer to 30 than 60.

I’m watching the waves as I type this entry. For the longest time, I couldn’t come up with what I wanted for *me* as the ultimate gold ring, with writing and voiceovers and academics. I’ve always maintained that I wanted to be able to get my husband the cherry red Shelby that we both drool over every time we see it. After the past few days, I think I’ve finally realized what I can work toward… what that ultimate goal could be.

I want to be able to see the waves every morning from my porch. Wake up to the sun, brew a pot of amazing coffee (and let me tell you, Jamaican coffee is deliciously rich and earthy, you can do it justice with a touch of milk and brown sugar) and watch the waves. I want to be able to breathe in the salt air, feel the breeze coming off the water, and listen to the rush of sea on sand.

(Of course, geek that I am, I’m categorizing waves and remembering the hydromechanics equations that go along with different types, wondering about the coastal topography, and counting crashes to figure out the periods. It goes well with the amazing coffee.)

I finished the audiobook contract last week and submitted it ten days ahead of schedule. It felt so good to get my first project finished at ACX, and I’m hoping to do more of the shorter novellas. They’re just right for the sorts of contracts I enjoy, and they help with the quest toward quality recording AND number of projects out there.

I’ve reconnected with one of my dear friends and co-authors, and we’re working on a project that’s tentatively titled “The Ezekiel John.” We get to go back to some favorite characters and personalities that got lost along the way, and I can’t wait to share those stories with folks.

The outlines/scripts are ready for NaNoWriMo. The story is “Hollow,” an urban fantasy that gives new perspective on what ties the ‘demonic’ to the earthly plane and what it means to sell one’s soul. When this is finished, I’m not sure if I’ll go the straight read route or the fullcast route. The plan has always been to create it in comic form, in the vein of such geniuses like Frank Miller and Ed Brubaker. Hopefully, the story and audio will fuel a Kickstarter to gather that support so I can pay the artist what the artist is truly worth.

I’ve spent the first three days of my week’s vacation re-reading Seth Godin’s books Linchpin & Insubordinate, Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and Robert Sutton’s Good Boss, Bad Boss. I know, it doesn’t sound like fun for some folks… but I enjoy those sorts of books, mainly because they challenge me to not operate in fear in my dayjob profession. For the better part of this year, I’ve operated in fear and self-preservation in the dayjob, and it got me nowhere.

Well, that’s a lie. It got me into the emergency room with chest pains, a glorious panic attack, and weeks of fear regarding whether or not I would still have a dayjob when each Friday rolled around. It got me into a mindset of anger and cynicism, and that’s not what I want to be about. It’s one thing to be angry and use that anger to accomplish something positive; it’s another thing to use that anger to create ulcers and become an unpleasant member of your loving and supportive household.

Once I return, it will be more about doing things out of love rather than fear. I don’t really have anything to fear… it’s not as if anyone can take away the creativity and education. It will be about leading authentically, leading without fear, and setting that example because I want to be the example, not because I expect some sort of reward.

I do want to work toward more mornings with coffee and the waves, though. That’s not a bad goal to have for the start of one’s thirty-third year.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 26th, 2011 at 1:03 pm and is filed under positive change, writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

One Response to “No worries and no problems”

  1. Doc Coleman Says:

    Every birthday is a victory!

    And, hon, you are a knockout. ;D