I need a habit.

Confession: I don’t feel very productive today.

I should clarify, since it’s not as if I’ve not accomplished things today. I did grocery shopping, planned for dinner, swept the kitchen and family room floors, and moved three (almost four!) loads of laundry from wash to dry to fold. I even have clean hair.

Usually, ‘productive’ is a measure of my demonstration of creativity for the day. I’ve not written anything on my ongoing projects, and I have a brilliant set of excuses for all three of them.

The excuses are totally bogus, though. I could sit down and put words on any of those files and advance… but I’m feeling tired, cold, and generally sluggish. Alone, too. This higher education route when one is already working and managing other activities is really lonely… well, it feels lonely. Like one of my profs said, doctoral students are not representative of the population… and I’m not representative of the students in my classes. I’ve only met one other who’s married with kids, but she was fortunate to be able to focus on school completely and not work in addition to her mom roles. My husband is delightfully and wonderfully supportive, and he’s the first to point out that I get cranky when I stop writing or gaming. After ten years of marriage, he knows that the creative outlet is as necessary as morning coffee.

I want to create. I know I can create, and I need to work on that creation outside of any extrinsic motivation. I have projects in progress and projects awaiting feedback, but a lack of feedback should not be an excuse to avoid creation. Instead, it should be motivation to put more out.

In the past, I’ve avoided using this blog when I felt stagnant or at odds with my creative outlets. I think it’s time to stop doing that, as long as I’m not whining about the lack of productivity. It’s time to start using DawningSky as that promise to continue the creative spark and hold myself accountable for my writing and voiceover projects.

So.

I will deliver something each week. An update on what I’ve been doing, something written or voiced, some tangible THING that I can deliver. I need to develop that habit of creation, darn it. I might be busy, but I’ve maintained that I am not too busy to create.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 8th, 2011 at 5:23 pm and is filed under time management, writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Comments are closed.